Bill PollockSacto, Calif
Blahg: Horrible jokes
The furniture store won't stop calling me. All I wanted was one nightstand.
The man who invented predictive text died last week. His funfair is next monkey.
I have an Epi-pen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
A friend admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. He said he could stop at any time.
I gave my dog cantalope but all she did was look at it wistfully. I think she's a melon collie.
My friend is in a vegetative state. Its called Idaho.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
My wife has been missing for a week now. Today the police called and said prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
I have a Polish friend who is a sound engineer. I have a Czech one too.
You know why your Mom's a bannana? Because she's appealing.
Maybe it works better as potato?
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